Article · children · fashion · lifestyle · photography · social media

OF FEMININE PEDIGREE & FASHION OUTLAWS: Nigerian Wedding in Focus

Our society is on a ‘precipice’ and no thanks to social media, electronic media and westernization. The hallmark of a good Wedding Photographer is to capture salient details and moments at weddings, thereby documenting the minute by minute moments of the couple, bridal league and guests.
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Nowadays, what bridesmaids wear ‘na die’. Photographing them from the front is ‘wahala’ (trouble), taking the shot from behind is ‘ijogbon’ (setback). They leave their bossoms almost bare and their behind curves perfectly accentuated. Brides are guilty of this too.
Before you chagrin at me that what is my business, consider the photo attached which I titled: ‘DECLARE YOUR ASSETS’. The photographer wasn’t up to mischief, he was just doing his job.
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I want to cull a part of an article by my mentor; Yetunde Olasiyan on bellanaija.com:
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“Where do we really draw the line between trying to be heard and showing off? How do we differentiate between reality and vanity – when many have virtually lost touch with reality in a bid to keep up with the Joneses.
Have you been at a church wedding where the sermon was going on and people were outside taking pictures with their expensive gadgets? There are some who are even daring enough to take pictures right inside the church. At that point, they don’t care about enjoying the event, because showing off to people is better than being present there.
But why is it that the first thing that comes to mind after dressing up for an occasion is how to upload mixes to social media?
Is it an attention seeking disorder to want other people’s reassurance that we look good or that the clothes we wear look good on us? Or is it an insecurity issue?
Why is marriage a competition on Facebook? You will see people uploading their wedding pictures on the same night they are supposed to be tired and be in bed.”
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read more here: https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/02/yetunde-olasiyan-between-having-a-voice-the-need-to-show-off-on-social-media/
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I am quoting a friend who commented on an earlier post I made, “I was at a wedding of late and with no effort you will see the ladies’ lingerie lining. And some of these people are tongue-speaking believers, imagine!”
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That christian/spirit-filled thingy is another kettle of fish entirely.
It beats my rational thinking to see anyone attending another person’s wedding with an intention to take the shine off the celebrant. They call themselves ‘SLAYQUEENS’. Who are they taking to the ‘slaughter’? Innocent boys or deluded men? Imagine how these provocative wears can be a colossal distraction at events. Some wear skimpy dresses and you ask yourself, to what end do these ladies aim. Is it this “I must hook my husband here” mentality or what? Married men are not left out of their ‘sample frame’. Hooking up with with a married man is no big deal to some of them, throwing the deluded man’s life and family into catastrophe.
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Parents are not left out in the madness as they cheer their daughters when they get on the dance floor. While reeling out obnoxiuos dance steps in their awkward wears; their parents applaud them. Shaking all shakables; their instruments of commotion. Some mothers’ wears are worse than that of ladies in some cases. These women; SlayMamas who are in their 50s do ignore the fact that young ones are watching. Note that the Ring bearer and Little bride in the picture attached are seeing the bridesmaids, the boy start seeing the female gender as object of visual and sexual pleasure. The girl starts accepting these wears as norms.
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In another article online, titled: YOUR CHILDREN ARE SEXY, the writer stated;
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Few weeks ago, I was at the local airport and as I waited in the departure lounge, I noticed there were many children roaming about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday.
One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren’t the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it.
A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my son glancing around, probably wondering, “What in God’s world are these other children wearing?” Or something like that.
Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season – these songs in my opinion should be rated PG 16. 4 – 6 year olds trooped to the dance floor, miming the sexually explicit songs and gyrating their bodies in the most sensual manner.
They could have given Beyonce a run for her money. They ran their hands over their bodies, shook their booties hard while their parents cheered them on. The boys had their upper shirts unbuttoned and rapped along perfectly to gangsta raps while doing flawless break dance.
Those who danced like actual children where shooed off the dance floor while the lewd ones were cheered on. As I watched, my child stared out of this circle looking longingly at the others dancing. I knew it was time to leave.
As we left, we went to an eatery where I bought them ice cream and gently explained to them the concept of decency and dancing with decorum.
Another time, at a game arcade for kids, I ran
into a lady who had made-up her kids’ faces like they were mannequins for Tara or Mac beauty products. Their skirts were so tight, that running up and down the slide was uncomfortable for them.
So the question is, why are we sexualizing our kids? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy? Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles?
If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she
be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won’t she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19? Why won’t your son pierce his own ear at 15?
Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on? That all these are fashionable or trendy doesn’t mean it’s ok. What happened to children wearing dresses.
Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good.
In this age, when children are being abused. Is it wise to make your child an object of anyone’s sexual attention? When I hear some children belt out sexually explicit lyrics, I ask myself how they became exposed to this songs!
As a parent, you can’t play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children. Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent?
Being a parent involves sacrifice. You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are. Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she’s just a sex toy and her body is for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture.
Our children have their lives ahead of them, let’s set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs. Let your children be children.
(end of quote)
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Where lies our cultural pedigree for the female gender? Where lies our interest in reducing promisquity in our society?
Where lies our religious conciousness in all these, afterall these people ‘declaring their assets’ belong to one religion or the other which preaches moderation and piety in dressing.
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#enoughSaid
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Photo credit: @dikophotography

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